Love Me
by xallfalldownx
Summary: I find myself becoming more distracted by you as the days wear on. I cannot concentrate. When people speak I only hear your name, when I close my eyes I only see your face. Stalker!Mikami/Light.


A/N This story's been stuck inside my head for a while now and I have to say I really had fun writing it. I decided to try out a new writing style and I think it turned out pretty well. It's written completely in present tense and the POV is 2cnd person. I _know _2cnd person isn't the easiest POV to get into and I thank you in advance for sticking through with it if you do. Also I would really appreciate constructive criticism. I'm here to learn how to become a better writer and any and all help is more than appreciated.

Warnings: Though it isn't very detailed, this story contains **rape** and character death.

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.

* * *

><p>I saw you for the first time today. You were beautiful. The most beautiful thing I have ever seen. The lack of colour in the photograph cannot hide the way your hair falls so beautifully around your face or the softness of your cupid-bow lips. I look for a name and there it is, Raito Yagami. Light. I test your name on my tongue and smile at how beautiful it tastes.<p>

o~o~o

You are even more beautiful in person. In person I can see exactly what the camera failed to capture – the rich tan colour of your skin, the way your hair shines in a mix of red and brown in the sunlight, even the way your mouth pulls slightly more to the left when you smile. But the most beautiful thing about you are your eyes. Cool and analysing, carefully taking in and processing everything they see. Yet, there still lies a certain naivety beneath that intelligent gaze. You're still so innocent, so clean. I find myself wanting to take you into my arms and prevent you from becoming marred by all the filth in this world.

o~o~o

You smiled at me today. A thin, beautiful smile that formed creases at the corners of your eyes. I suddenly found my heart speeding up and my palms going moist. I would do anything for you to smile at me like that again.

o~o~o

It took you longer than usual to come out of school today. I had just gotten ready to leave because I thought that perhaps you had stayed at home but then I saw you and my heart swelled with happiness. You seemed distracted, eyes distant, mouth pulled tight. I wanted to talk to you, ask you what's wrong, but I couldn't get my voice to work.

o~o~o

I haven't seen your smile in weeks and I find myself needing it, craving it. Am I not worthy of your smile? No, I know that isn't it. You don't even smile at your friends any more, don't even walk home with them now. I hope that you're alright. I wish that I could lift whatever burden you are carrying off your shoulders and carry it for you instead.

o~o~o

Kira. I am convinced that Kira is a god. He is cleansing the world, ridding it of anything that could destroy your innocence. I pray for him to keep you safe, for you to return my love. But I secretly fear that I am not worthy of your love, I fear that I am not important enough for Kira to answer my prayers. But I still continue to pray.

o~o~o

I find myself becoming more distracted by you as the days wear on. I cannot concentrate. When people speak I only hear your name, when I close my eyes I only see your face.

o~o~o

My breathing stops as you pick up the phone. Your voice sounds out and I gasp. Beautiful. Like everything else about you, your voice is so beautiful. My hand moves on its own as you ask who's calling. I cannot bring myself to speak. I'm afraid that if you hear my voice , so course and unrefined compared to yours, you will hang up. My breath is coming out in rough pants as you continue to speak. My hand finally wraps itself around my penis and suddenly I'm coming, a loud, keening noise escaping the back of my throat. It's silent for a while as I process what I had just done, and then a muffled, "Sicko," sounds from your end of the line and you hang up with a soft 'click' of the receiver.

o~o~o

I call you again the next day, and the next one after that and the next one after that. I do not say anything. I do not touch myself again. I've stopped waiting for you outside your school. I know I won't be able to look at you again without blushing. But I couldn't help myself. I was so overwhelmed by how beautiful your voice is. By how colourful it is. Those few seconds where I phone you and I get to hear your voice are my favourite part of the day.

o~o~o

You've stopped answering the phone. Now, whenever I phone it's the gentle voice of a woman that answers. It's nowhere as pleasing or beautiful as yours. I still call everyday in the hopes that when I do, it is you that answers.

o~o~o

I miss you. I wish you would answer the damn phone. I've started watching you through your bedroom window now, but it's not as satisfying as hearing your voice. You talk to yourself a lot. And you spend a lot of time writing. I wish I knew what you were writing. I wish you would love me.

o~o~o

As the days wear on I find it more and more difficult to stop thinking about you. I cannot eat. I cannot sleep. For me, there is nothing in this world other than you. Only you. Only Light.

o~o~o

_RaitoRaitoRaitoRaito. Light._

o~o~o

Your footsteps are almost silent as you make your way up the stairs to your bedroom door. I hear you hesitate before coming in and I feel my heart speed up. I fear seeing your reaction upon seeing me in your room. I know I am ugly compared to you. I know I am not worthy of you. But I want to show you the extent of my love for you, just once. I just want to prove to you how much I love you.

The door creeps open and you step into the room. My breath hitches as I take in your beauty. That's when you notice me and your eyes widen, mouth falling open ever so slightly.

"_I love you."_

You turn to leave but I grab you by the arm and pull you into me. I take in the smell of your hair, hold you tighter with one hand as you try to pull away while my other hand lifts your head up so that I can kiss you.

Your lips are just as soft as they look and I find myself melting at the feel of them against my own. I have never seen the appeal of kissing. I always thought it was just another disgusting act that humans came up with to fulfil their disgusting carnal desires. But now I do. I could kiss you forever. I want more of you, though, and I slip my tongue past your lips to run along your teeth, your own tongue, and the taste of you is almost overpowering.

Then pain. I push you back and you trip. You fall onto the floor and immediately I try to help you up, tell you I'm sorry, but you swat my hands away. You're angry with me. I need to show you how much I love you. I need you to love me too.

"_I love you! Please, let me show you how much I love you!"_

You get up and try to walk out again but I don't let you, I want you to give me a chance. I pull you close to me again, tell you I love you. Just give me a chance, let me prove my love to you.

I lay you down on the floor and take off your clothes. Your hands are on my shoulders, caressing and kneading as I pull your pants off your hips. I take my time, touching you everywhere, soaking up the warmth of your skin, and once your clothes are off I take your hands gently between mine and hold them above your head.

Once I have you settled I pull my own pants down as well. I steady your hips and guide myself into you. Once in, I allow you time to adjust but I can't wait much longer and soon I'm pulling back, plunging in and setting a steady pace.

There are tears in your eyes and I can't understand why you're crying, the only reason that would make sense is that you are as overwhelmed with how _right _this feels as I am. I wipe the tears from your cheeks and run my thumb over your lips.

Beautiful. So, so beautiful.

I lean forward and kiss along your jaw, your ear, down your neck. Soft sighs fall from your lips every time our hips meet. I reach down and grip your penis in my hand and stroke you in time with my thrusts.

Your cries become louder and more frequent with the added pleasure and soon you're thrashing against me, a strangled moan replacing the cries of pleasure as you come. I soon join you in your release and when I'm done I fall on top of you, listen to you breathing.

After a while you roll out from under me and I watch you as you lever yourself up on the bed. Your movements are still graceful even though I know you're probably sore from our love making.

You stumble over your discarded pants as you move to your desk. You pull open the top drawer and take a pen from the cup on your desk. I can't see what you're doing, your body's in the way, but I don't mind. I love looking at the way the muscles ripple so prettily beneath your skin as you move.

There's the sound of something lifting, of something being taken carefully out of the drawer and then you're standing up again, body rigid. You're leaning against the desk now and I think I hear you sob. I move to get up, to comfort you, but stop when I hear you say something under your breath. I open my mouth to ask you to repeat what you just said, I couldn't hear what you said and I needed to hear your beautiful voice, but you're speaking again so I stop to listen to what you're saying. Freeze at the words falling from your mouth.

"_I hate you, how dare yo- God, i hate you so fucking much."_

I can't understand why you're saying these hurtful words to me, I love you so much! And you love me too.

Don't you?

I voice these thoughts to you but all you do is ask my name, ask me how it's spelled and I tell you.

The scratch of pen against paper fills the silent room and I wonder what you're writing. Wonder if you'll let me touch you again.

When you finish writing you turn around and I finally get to see your face again. You look different all of a sudden. Tears are running down your cheeks but your face is hard, eyes cold and mouth drawn into a tight line. I carry on looking at your beautiful, beautiful face as you step forward with a black notebook in hand, opened to the very last page. My name is written in it – TERU MIKAMI – in large, angry letters. I wonder why you wrote my name down, are you worried you might forget it? I won't mind if you do, I'm not worthy of you. But I want you to remem-

"_Filth, you deserve this."_

I want to ask you what you're talking about. I want to know why your voice holds so much hatred as you speak to me, I want to hold you in my arms and make love to you again.

Except I can't, because there's a pain ripping through my chest, worse than anything I've ever felt, and all I can ask is _"Why?"_

All I ever did was love you, so why?

You smirk down at me, but it's empty and lifeless. You are still crying.

You say something, I see your mouth moving but I can neither hear the words falling from your mouth nor can I read the movement of your lips. My heart gives a final contraction and then nothing. All there is is silence and the ugly smirk on your beautiful face.

* * *

><p>AN I feel that I have to explain certain things that may not be entirely clear in this story. Mikami _is only seeing what he wants to see_. So what he sees as Light crying from sheer happiness, or moaning from enjoyment, is basically the exact opposite. Also, I tried to keep Light as in character as possible. He's a strong, proud creature and I can't really see him breaking down into a blubbering mess after something like this. He'll want to get his own back and he'll do just that. But I did allow him his moment of weakness- his admittance to hating Mikami.

I hope this clears up any questions, but if it doesn't just ask and I'll try and explain as best I can. Thanks for reading!


End file.
